Hey parents, one of the most common issues parents have with kids is their strong emotions.
So I thought I’d write something and give a few tools you can begin using to help relinquish big outbursts and big unhappy emotions.
When there is a big emotion or outburst it is never due to the reason presented before you. This will help us in understanding emotions better. Outbursts and big emotions are accumulated stress or tension. So with this awareness we approach big emotions and tantrums or outbursts with greater compassion. Many times we didn’t realize how important a certain thing was and feel it is unessissary to have such a big emotion about something we see as very insignificant. And then try to rationalize with our children as to why everything is fine and they need not feel that way. Which then often exacerbates the emotion. Do you find this?
Children need to be heard and listened to and respected just as much as an adult feels this need. The more we ignore our children’s subtle needs, the more that tension will build up and outbursts occur due to this buildup, not due to certain things in particular.
Its our ability to handle a situation that differs, and we want our kids to be able to handle difficult situation with ease.
How?
Through maintaining a calm and happy nervous system.
Playing outside is essential for kids to maintain this, or spending time in nature. Having quality time with parents is essential too so they feel loved and appreciated and a part of something wonderful. Finding friends for your kids to play with helps their nervous system. Good things help their nervous system. What else do you Love to do with your kids or Love supporting your kids in doing that helps them feel good? Drawing, coloring all good things…these things hardwire their brains to default to happy mode. When they’re used to being happy all the time they will be happy all the time, and the opposite is the truth as well. When they’re used to being frustrated all the time their brains get hardwired for frustration and disappointment to come their way and this becomes their reality. So how to relinquish negative emotions? By replacing them with positive ones!!
In order to maintain good emotions in the home, we need to maintain our nervous systems. Is there anxiety or a bit of frustration happening? How many times a day is your child frustrated? Let it not be too much. maybe once or twice, but don’t let the negative energy run their nervous system, because this creates patterns that get instilled in their brains to act negatively. Instill Positive Emotions by doing positive things with an uplifting tone and manner and you will be laying a foundation for positive emotions the whole day through.
We sometimes get busy and ignore the subtle negative ques our children give us. Get used to being more sensitive to those ques and set them up for success by showing them you care by stopping what your doing and giving them a moment of your attention or setting them up a station to draw you a nice picture or scheduling a playdate etc.
This is how we relinquish negative big emotions. Its not our children’s fault, it’s ours for not hearing and seeing whats going on. And if we let it go for too long it becomes a big problem we HAVE to look at. So don’t be afraid to look. Untieing knots is easy when their small but when they get really big they become more difficult. But difficult isn’t impossible, it will just take a little more time, a little more breath, a little more patients. More than you ever knew you were capable of :).
Our kids are worth our attention and our guidance. Keep setting them up for positive feelings by keeping your emotions positive by practicing meditation and yoga. You’ll be able to keep the vibration in your home happy only if you understand how to keep your vibration happy and can be a good leader and example.
For more guidance go to the library section of my website www.letsenlightentogether.com/library and watch some videos or listen to a guided meditation.
Happy to help you more in one of my courses or by phone. The answers lie within you, and you have the power to shift anything in your life, including you and your children’s happiness 🙂
Namaste,
Jessi Moon
